She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
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Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
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When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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