I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
