All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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