At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
