why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
