Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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