He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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