Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
love makes seman taste better
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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