Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
