It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Randomize
