I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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