Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Fuck me I smell like cheese
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
