It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
