god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
operation have a gay friend backfired
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
