I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
