And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize
