Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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