Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
