im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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