So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
