I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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