I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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