well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
