I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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