put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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