if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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