He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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