He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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