ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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