How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
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