That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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