i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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