I just saw a hot homeless man
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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