I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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