And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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