So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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