You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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