Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
only you would photoshop your dick
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
