If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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