i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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