She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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