the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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