honey bunches of taint.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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