i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
