Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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