Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
