Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize