i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
