where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
