How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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