he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
