i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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