I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
