would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
