apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
