i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
