I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
should my penis look like a turkey
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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